Strength is the foundation of hope and faith.....
Yesterday I had started to write in this blog, but like I do many times, I stopped. Today, is a new day. I have erased all of yesterday's writings.....just like I can erase the negative feelings that have been consuming me. Today, is a new day.
Today's writings I want to be about positivity and strength. Something that many of you reading this have helped push me to see. In a couple hours we will see how well Zayla's bone marrow has been making new cells. I am going to take the positive stance that things will be right.
Hope and faith are things that I think about often. We all talk about these things, but what I struggle with is feeling them. I mean truly feeling them....like they are an extension of you. Zayla is not defined by this cancer, or the past cancer. She is still the funny, sweet and caring person she has always been. But what I have been reminded by a wonderful young lady is that at the foundation of the real Zayla IS STRENGTH!!
Thank you Kaley Wakey for writing this and sharing it with me at a perfect time.
So, the truth comes out. Zayla is the one who gives me the strength to endure.
Years ago, when Zayla was first diagnosed (3 years old), I tried to find the meaning of her name. We picked her name because of a Great Aunt that Jason had was named Zaela. Before I even got pregnant with her, we both knew that if we had another child that was a girl we would name her Zaela. Of course, I decided to spell it differently to make it easier for people to pronounce. Back to my original point.....it took me numerous searches in the Barnes and Noble bookstore up at the University of Chicago campus to finally find her name and meaning. The first and simple one that I came across purely said....Resistant. Hmmmm, yep. That's about right. And then there was this one:
ZAELA: You have aspiration and inspiration, hope and guidance. Since you are intuitive and perceptive and you understand human nature. You have the power to achieve. Diplomacy and discretion make you a good mediator. You are inspired, introspective, and have a good understanding of the human heart. You can have the ability to commercialize your artistic talents successfully. You are often a mystery to others and to yourself. You are always reaching for something higher, without exactly knowing what that "higher" is. You are bold, independent, inquisitive and interested in research. You know what you want and why you want it.
You desire to inspire and lead, to control other's affairs. You are giving, courageous and bold, action oriented,energetic and strong willed. You want to make a difference in the world, and this attitude often attracts you to cultural interests, politics, social issues, and the cultivation of your creative talents.
Yes, yes, yes.....all of those words describe this child. Keep inspiring me dear Zayla, and that is what gives me the strength to have hope and faith.
Peace~
