Growing pains of being a teen....intensified by cancer
This past week has been an emotional one. Here we are ten years into this cancer crapdom, and I am still learning and seeing the effects of this disease. Junior high is always a tough time. Add cancer, hair loss, and speech/cognitive disabilities....and that is a recipe for disaster. The struggles that Zayla has been experiencing and feeling with her "friends" and peers has culminated to near explosion this past week. And when I say explosion, I really mean that this mother came close to 1. losing my mind and 2. going into attack mode against selfish, inconsiderate, and just plain bitchy teenage girls.
There, I said it. Bitchy girls. Why do girls feel the need to go along with what they know in their heart is WRONG!!!????! And I am not going to say it is how they are raised....I believe that has some part of it, but I think there is something more. I personally know the parents in this instance. They are good people. Honest, caring....and completely mortified that their child could treat another in this manner....let alone a child that is fighting for her life.
And, I really believe we are seeing more and more division in our kids. An us against them mentality. What are we teaching these kids? Where are we going wrong? Have we really advanced in our country that it IS a Dog eat Dog world? The funny thing is we all want to have "things".... better car, better house etc. . . But we can't take this "stuff" with us when we die. When did we lose sense of what really matters?
Last night, Zayla had orientation for high school. I was happy that she found a friend to go "explore" the high school with. Someone to bond with. That's important as a teen trying to find their way. It's also important for the cancer parent. As I had a couple conversations over the evening...walked by several people who went out of their way to say they were praying for us....it struck me. I am the parent that everyone "looks" at sadly....and yet grateful, that it is NOT them. The pity looks. I know that Zayla gets those looks as well. I know my friend Brenda, who lost her husband and father to her boys, can relate to this. People stare. Don't know what to say. Don't want to say the wrong thing. You can feel the whispers. But here's the thing....just say something. Anything. I appreciate the people who went out of their way to say they were praying for us. Or those who just acknowledged and said "hi". It shows compassion. It teaches our kids to not shy away from things that are difficult. We can't always shield our kids. The world is not all rosey and bright. Bad shit happens. All the time.
